March 11, 2010 by willblogforlols
Hey if you’re out of work right now…
Wouldn’t it be weird if your last employer called and said, “Hey, we need you back.”
Have you ever thought about this scenario?
…That an employer laid you off, only to call you later on to ask for your services back.
THAT WOULD BE WEIRD, WOULDN’T IT?
What would you say?
I’ve thought about it.
And honestly, I wouldn’t know what I’d do.
It’s sort of like “the ex” calling to get you back.
“Ah, what do they want?”
What would you do?
I know I need a job, but enough to return to a hellhole?!
Well, it’s not like they’ll ever really call!
And if they did…
I’d take my job back in a heartbeat.
*****
Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only.
Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.
Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com
Tags: finding a job, finding jobs, former employer, going back to a former employer, laid off, last employer, lay-off, media bistro, mediabistro, old employer, out of work, what's a lay off?, what's a layoff, working again for a former company, working again for a past company, working for an ex-boss
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March 10, 2010 by willblogforlols
I mentioned a few weeks ago about this double standard that employers have of demanding error-free cover letters despite 1.) errors in their own job ads and 2.) the fact that employees make mistakes all the time.
Yeah, I know…waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
But seriously, here’s a prime example of this:
I responded to an ad for a copywriter.
Part of the ad said, “I want to see that you can write good copy (seriously, proofread your work).”
So I send in my error-free cover letter.
And here’s the response I get back from the hiring person:
“Thanks for yo response.”
Yo response!
AH!!!!!!!!!!!!
First sentence, too!
The iorny.
*****
Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only. We are not responsible for lost or stolen typos.
Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.
Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com
Tags: avoiding spelling errors, avoiding spelling mistakes, avoiding typos, copywriter, craigslist, craigslist jobs, how to proofread, proofreading cover letters, proofreading your resume, proofreading your work, the importance of proofreading
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
March 9, 2010 by willblogforlols
Get a root canal…without novacaine.
Get thrown in a jail cell with Suge Knight, Mike Tyson & the 18th Street Gang.
Get a prostate exam — by Suge Knight, Mike Tyson & the 18th Street Gang.
Walk barefoot in a field of razor blades, thumb tacks, and knives.
Watch the entire Oscarcast — again.
Have hot sauce porn into my eyes.
Eat cake with toothpaste icing.
Pick out hairs from people’s doody.
Be forced to eat a meal inside a public beach restroom.
Vacuum cars at the car wash and have each ex-girlfriend drive up and go, “Andrew?! You work here?!”
Get driven around by a blind person who just suffered a heart attack.
Solve math problems.
Throw out my back…during The Running of the Bulls.
Go “girls” shopping…
…followed by a double feature of “What A Man Wants” and “The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.”
Go down in a jet filled with screaming babies.
Drink tap water.
Get tickled on my side.
Go back to my last job.
*****
Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only. No screaming babies were harmed in the making of this post.
Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.
Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com
Tags: 18th street gang, mike tyson, oscarcast, oscars, screaming babies, sisterhood of the traveling pants, suge knight, the running of the bulls, what a man wants
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
March 8, 2010 by willblogforlols
Did you see this?
A report just came out how department stores, amusement parks and other retailers no longer need to hold job fairs for holiday or summer work because they’re already flooded with applicants (and sadly, most of whom are overqualified).
Shows you how times have changed.
Companies no longer need job fairs to get applicants cause there are way too many people looking for work?
I’m screwed.
But it reminded me of something I’ve been wanting to bring up…
Have you ever been to a job fair?
The one I decided to check out was TERRIBLE.
I thought the moment I walked in, I’d be lured by various companies desperately trying to get me to apply.
Nope.
The moment I walked in, I got nothing but dirty looks from most of the reps who obviously didn’t give a sh*t that I was desperately trying to find a job.
It was unbelievable, actually.
Most every person I talked too was just there to answer questions about the company — and some of them didn’t even seem to KNOW a lot about the company they were working for!
It was like a bad night of speed dating, but at least with speed dating, you usually got one or two “yesses.”
Never again.
And not just cause now I know job fairs are filled with imbeciles who don’t know what they’re doing.
Cause with all the people out of work now, they don’t need to put on sh*tty job fairs.
Good riddance.
In a related story, yes…Conan got the job selling popcorn at California Disney Adventure.
*****
Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.
Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com
Tags: company, applicant, applicants, companies, amusement parks, Conan, job fair, job fairs, speed dating, department stores, retailers, amusement park jobs, la times, l.a. times, los angeles times, best companies to work for
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March 5, 2010 by willblogforlols
Willblogforlols just reached over 10,000 hits!!!
If you were the 10,000th visitor, please email me.
YOU JUST WON $10,000!!!
*****
Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only. $10,000 prize winner will be paid $1.00 a year for the next 10,000 years.
Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.
Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
March 5, 2010 by willblogforlols
Hey, you’re out of work like me, right?
Do you ever ask yourself, “Am I doing enough?”
….enough to land yourself another job.
Like the last time I was out of work…
I would tell myself, “If I apply to at least two jobs a day, I’m being productive.”
Do you ever tell yourself things like that?
Does it even matter how many jobs you apply to, anyway?
After all, isn’t it the quality, not the quantity?
Or something like that?
And yes I swear, I haven’t been smoking anything tonight…I’m being serious.
Should we be setting goals like applying to X amount of jobs a week?
Is it a good indicator of how much time we’re putting in to the job search?
Sadly this time around, the economy’s far worse and job openings are scarce.
If I apply to four jobs for the week, that’s a good week.
Welcome to 2010.
Change I can’t believe in.
The bottom line is…the race to the next job shouldn’t be based on the number of jobs you apply to.
It’s applying to the ones that are truly in line with your background that count.
At least that’s what I keep trying to tell myself.
So far, it’s not working.
My new rule is this: I figure with the bad economy, it could take between 6 months and a year to find another job.
And if I still don’t have a job after a year, I’ll have to ask myself a question.
Did Somebody Say McDonalds?
*****
Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only.
Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.
Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com
Tags: apply to jobs, applying for a job, applying to jobs, bad economy, change we can believe in, definition of apply, did somebody say mcdonalds?, how to land a job, how to land another job, it's the quality not the quantity, job search guide, job search guides, landing another job, mcdonalds, mcdonalds slogans, setting goals during unemployment
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March 4, 2010 by willblogforlols
1.) Do you have any kids? Y __ N __
2.) If yes, have you let them steer the car for you in bad traffic? Y __ N __
3.) Are you related to that guy who texted kids while conducting a train, crashed the train, and killed himself as well as innocent people? Y __ N __
4.) Would you let your kids push important knobs and switches while unsupervised? Y __ N __
5.) Promise? Y __ N __
6.) If your kid’s caught talking to pilots in the tower, are you cool with getting suspended — with double pay? Y __ N __
7.) If we “reprimand” you in the papers to satisfy the American public, is that cool? Y __ N __
8.) Would you let your kid use a stun gun on one of Michael Jackson’s kids? Y __ N __
9.) Are you sure? Y __ N __
10.) If needed to nap for a Northwest pilot in the cockpit, can your kid take over in air traffic control? Y __ N __
BONUS QUESTION: While in command in air traffic control, will you let your kid run around with scissors? Y __ N __
If you answered YES to all questions, you’ll be contacted immediately for an interview.
*****
This post is probably accurate purely a parody and written for entertainment purposes only.
Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.
Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com
Tags: air traffic controller gaffe, application, blanket, blanket stun gun, child air traffic, child directs planes, child gives commands to pilots, faa, Jet Blue, JetBlue, jfk air traffic controller, jfk controller, jfk kid debacle, michael jackson's kid blanket, northwest pilot, stun gun
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March 3, 2010 by willblogforlols
Or better yet…during a job interview.
CareerBuilder just put out a list of what they call “the most unusual blunders” that hiring managers have encountered during job interviews with prospective candidates.
Here’s their top 10 list……where’s Casey Kasem when you need him?
Top 10 Job Interview Blunders
10 – Candidate wore a business suit with flip flops.
No, flip flops aren’t acceptable at a job interview…even in Hawaii.
9 – Candidate asked if the interviewer wanted to meet for a drink after.
And no, Tiger Woods didn’t get the job.
8 – Candidate had applied for an accounting job, yet said he was “bad at managing money.”
Instead, he became a member of Congress.
7- Candidate ate food in the employee break room after the interview.
Why you don’t smoke pot before a job interview.
6 – Candidate recited poetry.
You’re an idi-et, and you know it.
5- Candidate applying for a customer service job said “I don’t really like working with people.”
But he still got the job at the DMV.
4- Candidate had to go immediately to get his dog that had gotten loose in the parking lot.
Oh, Michael Vick…
3- Candidate looked at the ceiling during the entire interview.
Granted, it was an interview at a roofing company.
2- Candidate used “Dungeons and Dragons” as an example of teamwork.
Another “Trekkie” stuck living in his parents’ basement.
1- Candidate filed fingernails.
Hey, look…I’m not going to apologize for wanting nice nails, okay?
******
Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only.
Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.
Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com
Tags: assholes at the dmv, bad customer service dmv, candidates, careerbuilder, careerbuilder top 10 list, careerbuilder.com most unusual blunders, casey casem, Casey Kasem, dmv, don't try these at home, don't try these at work, don't try this at home, dungeons & dragons, dungeons and dragons, goofs, hiring managers, job site, michael vick, most unusual job interview behavior, prospective candidates, tiger woods, top 10, top 10 interview blunders, top interview blunders, top interview errors, top interview mistakes, top ten, top ten interview blunders, top ten list, trekkie, trekkies, you're a poet and you know it, your a poet and you know it
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March 2, 2010 by willblogforlols
There: I said it.
My blog sucks.
At least according to this guy.
In his article, this blog “expert” lists 10 reasons why your blog sucks.
#3: You keep talking about yourself.
Well guess what…
Tough sh*t.
It’s MY blog…I’ll talk about whatever the hell I want!
This is a fun way to express myself, polish up on my writing, and vent a little about the sh*tty job market.
And I’ll do as I please.
You will read my blog, and YOU WILL LIKE IT.
Now, look…I know not EVERY post on here is going to be a stellar masterpiece.
But I guarantee that EVERY post on here will be INTERESTING and AMUSING to read.
So, yeah…I’ll continue to write about myself. Or whatever I want.
If you think my blog sucks, don’t read it.
And no, I won’t write about subjects that appeal to the masses just to get more hits.
In fact tomorrow, I’ll write about how men can get the most sex without ever getting into a committment.
And Thursday, I’ll write about how women can get their man to open up and afterwards take them shopping.
*****
Willblogforlols is written for entertainment purposes only.
Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.
Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com
Tags: does my blog suck?, how bad is the economy?, is the economy still bad?, my blog sucks, when will the economy recover?, your blog sucks
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March 1, 2010 by willblogforlols
Johnson’s called into his boss’ office unexpectedly. His boss tells him to close the door and have a seat.
The boss says, “Johnson…we’re going to have to let you go.”
“What? Why?,” Johnson asks.
“We have a complaint about you making copies of your buttocks on the copy machine, and that simply isn’t acceptable at this company.”
“Awe, c’mon,” Johnson says. “Making copies of your ass on the copy machine happens at every company. It’s a like a ritual!”
“I know,” replies the boss. “But you also peed on the copier. And our receptionist Dottie was also planning to pee on the copier, and said you left the copier up.”
*****
Andrew Wisot is a freelance writer for The Tonight Show with Jay Leno and an US Weekly Fashion Cop who’s “between jobs.” Andrew will blog for LOLs until he’s employed again or 50,000 miles, whichever one comes first.
Email: andrew@willblogforlols.com
Tags: making copies of your ass on the copy machine, making copies of your butt on the copier, office jokes, office pranks, toilet humor, work jokes
Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Hey if you’re out of work right now…